My oldest nephew has reminded me about “base”. Nothing can get you at “base”. Base is perhaps the most important thing. And I’m really glad that in play, kids have something to run to where all of the scariness stops and they are control. When they are on base, they stop the world and process the chase, the overstimulation of the craziness and then when its time to go again they re-enter the game.
The sufferer of ptsd (I’m trying not to capitalize it, I think that’s great advice. Thanks, A!) frequently feels chased. I’ve got a thing or twelve on my emotional plate right now. I have about 4 family relationships I am working on right now. We still don’t have our stuff from the pirates and that is winding down, I hope we may have our stuff by Christmas. My new job is great and not easy.
E and I continually work to connect to be “base”. It is so good. It’s really hard right now. The pirates have our bed. This weekend in a hotel was the first time we’ve slept together in a bed since 9/25. And we are working so hard to keep our emotional connection sweet. I’m really lucky, because the air mattresses and other sleeping arrangements have led us both to a lot of back pain through this ordeal and it’s not getting us down. We’re just taking care of each other.
After a really hard week, A texts me…. She simply says, “I bet you look beautiful and your hair smells like strawberries”. I laugh because she was close, 3000 miles away and my hair smelled like pumpkins. My best friend is the master of sweet understatement, she can say better in 9 words what I was trying to tell you in 1,200. And she smells like caramel, but she doesn’t have to put stuff in her hair to create a scent like I do. A is “base”. A is bass to my melody.
I am “base”. I keep the motion and the flow in my life. I swim the channel of shadows toward the light. I love and forgive and connect and sting when I harm people and get pissed off when I have to do the right things and it’s hard. I try to stop when I can’t and I try to go when I should. And I learn from my little wild guru nephew about base and safe and stop.