Anniversaries are bookmarks in the calendar and in your heart. They are to be remembered. My parents’ anniversary is today. A friend just celebrated that she had been with her husband for half her life. This month is one year that E and I have been engaged.
Some anniversaries choose you: a death, a break up, usually loss. Years ago my ex (and I as her partner) experienced a terrible and sudden loss. The anniversary of it just passed. I am so used to caring for her through it. Honoring it and her family. Protecting her from the world during it.
Some anniversaries you have to just let pass you. They have nothing to do with you anymore. They may be in your bones and your cellular makeup, but they aren’t yours anymore. I brace myself, try to act sane. Try to soothe the hyper vigilant parts of my brain. I hope the other person is ok, but we don’t talk so I don’t ask. It’s too intimate a question anyway.
Some anniversaries and people you have to let go, even though you spent a third of your life with them. The loss may heal with time, but you can’t count on it.