I’ve mentioned A&M before in my boots post. They have one of the most beautiful marriages I’ve ever seen. And they treasure and delight in each other more than a decade later (and they’re smokin hot). One of the best things that M ever said to me is, “You’ve got to cradle each other with your words, keep each other safe.” That blew my mind.
I used to be addicted to sarcasm, before I heard M say this to me. And, sure… I had my sarcastic relapses here and there, I really tried to change. I feel that sarcasm keeps you on edge. Keeps you from ever really being able to let your guard down around the ones you love, sarcasm reinforces emotional walls. You can come close, but not too close. Sure, it can be “funny” and it was hard to imagine my personality without my cutting wit, sharpened and ready to slice, dice and julienne you at a moments notices.
But I also found that in those silences, where I’m not thinking about what I’m going to say. That life gets better. I get to hear who you really are, what you really need, and what is going on with you. I get to politely disengage from the barbs and find a softer way. I used to run a networking chapter of all women business owners, and I took a lot of M’s wisdom to that podium. I taught that it is better to be soft, to trust and to cradle each other with our words. I feel that helped make me successful, and I feel it helped me really connect and make some good happen in the world.
Thanks, M. In a sentence you changed my life for the better and I love you.