So, here are my thoughts and feelings about what humility means to me today. It is simply knowing who I really am today and the willingness to become who the universe wants me to be. Bondage to self, causes obsession and low self-esteem which results in feelings of inadequacy, status-seeking and self-absorption. Humility levels the imaginary ladder of status and worth and we truly know that we are all equal. When I am in my ego, I feel like I constantly have something to prove and when I check my self-will with the divine in me I just have to be and when things either go my way or don’t go my way it’s just life happening and it’s neither a condemnation or affirmation of my self-worth. And then I can step away from the internal drama that I create about the events that happen (which is me feeding my ego) and I can simply focus on the next right action to take.
People pleasing has an evil twin named resentment. I just saw an article about how women are taught to be people pleasers through social conditioning, and men are generally trained to be providers.
My problems with people pleasing and resentment are that I am generally assuming what people want based on my understanding of them-instead of asking them what they want. Then doing this small or grandiose thing for them to make “them” happy. If their reaction is something I didn’t expect, I feel unloved. The reality is that I set the whole situation up. I decided I would do something for them, they didn’t react how I want them to react, I am hurt.
It isn’t bad to help people, but what is it that people really need? To find out, I have to get out of my skin enough to listen and ask, not assume. Not randomly try to buy their love with random gifts or try to backhandedly control them with intent.
Generally, I have to think long and hard at what I do, when I do, and how I do. Lots of times my intentions are pure, but there are other times where I have a lacking that I am trying to fill with a thing or an action, and I am secretly overcompensating.